(A) the growth of fable: the growth of apple trees will never do a ,Bailey UGG boots
an apple tree, and finally the result was.
The first year, which end up with 10 apples, 9 were taken away, they receive a months. In response, angry apple trees, so from the off, in turn, refused to grow. The next year, it bears a five apples, four were taken away, they receive one. This year get 20%! doubled. 90, they receive 10.
likely, it was taken away 99, they receive one. but it does not matter, it can continue to grow the fruit of the third year-end 1000 hh
fact, how much fruit is not the most important. The most important thing is the tree to grow! other apple trees grow into towering trees, those who have hindered its growth will be weak to negligible power. really, do not worry so much about fruit, growth is the most important.
Psychological Review
you are not a has been broken since the meridians of the migrant workers?
just started work, you talented, high-spirited, I believe that Reality soon hit a few of your Sap, perhaps, you made great contribution for the unit that no one seriously; perhaps, but not only by verbal emphasis on affordable; may hh short, you feel like the apple tree, Results out to enjoy the fruit of their own only a small part, and falls far short of your expectations.
So, your anger, you upset, you grumble hh the end, you decide not to work so hard, so do to match their their income. a few years past, as you reflect on that now you have not just the work of passion and talent of the time.
You have to stop the growth of the.
such stories abound around us.
why make such mistakes, because we forget that life is a journey, a whole, we think we have grown over Now is the time of the fruit. We too care about temporary gains and losses, and forget the most important growth.
Fortunately, this is not a Jin Yong novel of self-off passages. We stand ready to give up to do so, continue to move toward growth path.
Remember: If you are a working group, met do not understand management, management or error management brutal boss or corporate culture, then, to remind ourselves about, do not because of anger and full of complain and the meridians from the off. No matter what, have to do an apple tree will never grow because you always grow important than how much money each month.
(b) the motivation of the fable: for children The group of children who play
frolic in front of an elderly, sounds a great deal. A few days past, the elderly unbearable.
So he came out to 25 cents for each child, said to them: so here you become very busy, I feel a lot younger, this money gratitude. children 15 cents. He explained that he had no income, only .15 cents less for some it also can be, children are still happily away.
the third day, the elderly only to the United States each child 5 points.
children with rage, br> Whom you > human motivation in two ways: internal motivation and external motivation. If the internal motivation to act in accordance with, we are masters of their own. If we are driven by external motivation, we will be swayed by external factors become enslaved by it. < br> In this fable, the calculation is simple for the elderly, who will the children's internal motivation points that external factors, so it manipulated the children's behavior. fable old, a lot like your boss, boss? and cents, a lot like your salary, bonus and other kinds of external rewards ?
such as the external evaluation as a reference frame, our emotions can easily fluctuate. because we can not control external factors, it is easy to deviate from our internal expectations, let us dissatisfied, let us grumble. dissatisfaction and complaints and other negative emotions make us suffer, in order to reduce the pain, we had to reduce the internal expectations, the most common method is to reduce the work effort.
one reason why the formation of an external evaluation system, the most important reason is that parents like to control him. parents too prefer to use verbal rewards and punishments, material incentives and other control children, not to ignore the child's own motivation. Over time, the children have forgotten their original motives, what are the external evaluation of care. school, he forget the original motivation for learning mmm curiosity and joy of learning; work, he forgot to work the growth of primary motivations mmm happy, supervisors and income fluctuations in the evaluation of his work has become the largest source of pleasure and pain. < br> Remember: the external evaluation system is often a family history, but you can break it, from now on cultivating their own internal evaluation system, to study and work into c) Planning of the parable: a piece of paper folded 51 times
Imagine your hands are a big enough white. Now, your task is to fold it 51 times. So, How high?
a refrigerator? floor? or a skyscraper so high? not, a big change, the thickness more than the distance between Earth and the Sun.
Psychological Review
to now, I get This story is more than a dozen people asked, only two people said that this may be less than the height of an imaginary, while others think that is a maximum height of skyscrapers so high.
51 times the height of such a folding terror, but if only the 51 white stacked it?
the contrast was shocking to many people. because there is no direction, lack of planning in life, like the 51 White simple stacked. doing this today, tomorrow little bit of that, every time there is no link between efforts. In this way, even if each job is done very well, they have your whole life is nothing but a simple superposition.
, of course, life is more complicated than Zhege fable. Some people, concluded that a simple life, the direction and firmly to do so, their life finally reached the height of someone else unattainable. For example, I have a friend for your life in English He spent more than a decade efforts, only the memory of the word reached the amount of ten million and more, at this point to reach the average person can not match the height.
also some people, and their direction in life is also very clear, For example, start a company boss, so they need a lot of skills mmm professional skills, management skills, communication skills, decision-making skills and so on. They may try doing this in the beginning, and try doing that, none of them are particularly Jingtong , but finally, to start a company in this direction will be before the boss of these seemingly scattered together the efforts of integration, which is a complex folding of life, rather than a simple superposition.
Remember: the power of visible more useful than the unseen force.
now, the popular place to find the answer from the unseen, such as the potential development, such as Success, that we rely on some miracle of life can be saved. However, in my opinion, Dongguan Heng margin Counseling Center consultant Mao Zhengjiang more correctly, tricks
the sun appears, they will see that the shadow of their own crazy.
However, Tom and Toby finally have found their own solutions. Tom is always close their eyes. Toby approach is, always stay in the shadows of other things.
Psychological Review
This fable shows that a little mental problem is how to become more psychological problems.
can be said that all the psychological problems from the distortion of the facts. What facts? mainly suffering that our negative events.
because of the pain experience, we do not want to face the negative events. However, once happened, that the negative event destined to be with us for life, we can do them up but is repressed into the subconscious to go, this is the so-called forgotten.
However, their subconscious will still continue to play a role. And, even if We have again forgotten the fact that severe, the pain associated with these facts will still attack us, let's somehow sad, and can not be suppressed. the pain further our efforts to escape.
development to the end, the usual solution way these two: either, as we like the cat Tom, completely distorting their experience of life in all the important facts are ignored negative; or, we, like kittens, like Toby, simply join their suffering to their own All things were very bad, since everything is so bad, that make their most sad event is not so original pain.
clouds mental hospital consultant, said Li Ling, 99% of drug users had a painful experiences. They reason drug use, is to allow yourself to escape the pain. It's like hide in the shadows, painful truth is a devil, the devil in order to avoid this, simply to sell more of the devil himself.
also There are many alcoholism adults, they have had an alcoholic and abusive father, father survive a lot of torture. to forget the pain, they learn the same way.
addition to these visible outside the wrong way We humans have invented a myriad of all kinds of ways to escape suffering, Freud referred to as psychological defense mechanisms of these methods. too painful, these defense mechanisms is necessary, but worse, if the psychological defense mechanism distort the facts so intense, it will bring out the more psychological problems, such as obsessive-compulsive disorder, social anxiety disorder, multiple personality, and even schizophrenia.
really only one way to reach health mmm face the pain. face the pain people will get a lot from the pain of unexpected gains, they will eventually become the life of the party of wealth. planning to make good use of existing capacity than tap the potential of the so-called more important. is the wealth of life.
one of the most important psychological law is, no matter how painful, you are no escape. you can only go to face up to it and resolve it, beyond it, and it reached the final reconciliation. If you own a temporary shortage of power, you can find help, find friends and relatives for help, or seek professional help, people you trust go with you face these painful things.
Rogers, American psychologist was the most lonely person, but when he resolved to face this fact and after he became a true master of interpersonal relationships; American psychologist Frank (see the newspaper on January 7 of the patients with neurological disorders, but he challenges the fact and finally through the invention of Morita therapy hh their most painful fact of life eventually became their most important asset. you can do the same.
(five ) action fable mmm crabs, owls and bats
crabs, owls and bats to cram on the habit. a few years later, they graduate and obtain a doctorate. However, the crab is still rampant, night owls are still sleeping in the daytime activities, bat still hung upside down.
psychological Comments
This is a fable even famous master whose meaning is simple: action more important than knowledge.
used in mental health, this fable is also thought-provoking.
psychological learned to be called profound. However, the more even the best knowledge of psychology help a person does not automatically become more healthy. Actually, I know some people who had studied psychology for many years, one of the purposes they Psychology is to own home, but after so many years of school, their problems remain.
reason why this happens, a very important reason is that they do not personally, just far away as the knowledge of knowledge, knowledge is not into their own life experience.
one of my friends like psychology, Psychology, believes that more than once is not sensitive, not suitable for Psychology. But the fact is that speculation is not correct. He is not sensitive enough But he has a very big advantage: to know a good knowledge immediately in their own lives to do it. In this way, the knowledge that becomes a distant real life experience, he does not more, we can help ourselves and help many people.
If we say that the quality of high sensitivity is a genius, then Gao power is more important the quality of genius.
can come out of this fable another Meaning: Do not expect too much the magic of the mysterious psychological treatment. The most important force in your body forever, the mysteries of knowledge, the potential development of mysterious, dazzling success and so forth, are far inferior to the existing power of your important body . We used to go outside to find the answer to someone else looking for strength, the results have forgotten the power in themselves.
Remember: other people's knowledge can not save you automatically.
punch if some renju touched you, if some text or a new creed inspired you. Well, these other people's words and experience are just the beginning, more importantly, a good knowledge you think you really use in your own life to go.
Jewish philosopher Martin. Buber's words, I have always considered the most important:
you'll have to start. If you do not love to go deep in a positive life, if you do not act for their own way to reveal the existence meaning, then for you, life will remain meaningless.
(VI) to give the Fables:
bees and flowers withered roses, the bees are still hard suck, because it previously from the flower too sweet to suck on. But now in this little to spend, the bees suck the venom.
bees know this, because the venom bitter taste is the big difference with the previous. So, the bees anger, however, it breath for the whole world looked up to complain about, why the taste changed?!
Finally one day, do not know why, bee vibrating wings, fly a little higher. At this time, it is found around the wilting roses , flowers everywhere.
psychological Comments
This is the fable about love, is a young language teacher's true sentiment.
some time, she rejected in love, painful, and always wanted to talk about me talk, I hope my knowledge of psychology give her some help. We have some time, but almost two months later, the total time they can not happen to get together.
the last time about her, she said: ; thank you! No, I would like to see. A little on the honey bee is a flower. that moment, her mind like thunder and lightning appeared in one sentence: , nature will not do the little bees, only man was foolish, and she of course the bees in this sentence refers to herself. that moment, her insight to give up the truth out. In the past, she wanted me to help her go out, but in fact, the long wings in her own body, she can fly to fly.
give up is not easy to give up love, especially painful. because love is when our young copy of parent-child relationship. small children, no matter from which side, parents can not do without. If a complete denial of his father and mother, and that means death for him, this is the ultimate injury and fear. We have more or less Mom and Dad had been denied to experience the pain and fear, so when love mmm copies of the parent-child relationship once again we experience the pain and fear, our emotions can easily become very bad.
, however, compared to love and parent-child relationship, there is a huge difference: a child, nothing we can do, all parents have the final say; But now we grow up, we have the power to choose their own destiny. to say, childhood, We do not have wings, small bees, but now we have a pair of powerful wings.
However, when deeply in love, we will return to childhood, we forget that they have a pair of wings to fly. When we realize that, after their love is no longer automatically copy parent-child relationship, our love was free, there is the power to give up.
Remember: Love is two things, two full equality, independence and human dignity have to do. you can work, but not that hard for you there will be results, because another person, you are not around.
So, no matter how much you care about the time love If another person determined to leave you, please respect his choice.
And also remember, you are no longer a child, are left with the pain of torture. you have adults, you have a pair of strong wings, You can fly out of a relationship has become poison.
(g) close Fable: The Little Prince
unique rose a small planet, the planet suddenly blooming flower blooming rose . In the past, this planet only a few nameless flowers, the little prince had never seen such beautiful flowers, he fell in love with this rose, carefully nurtured her.
that for some time, he thought, this is a man The only flower world, only he only planet, other places do not exist.
, however, so he came to Earth and found that there is a garden just the same as 5000 of this flower. This When did he know, he only have an ordinary flower.
the beginning, this discovery, let the little prince was very sad. But in the end, the little prince to understand, although there are many roses in the world, but his That one on the planet, is still unique because that rose, he watered before, had spent her hood cover, sheltered behind the screen too, in addition to her body caterpillars, but also to listen to her grumbled, or boasted, listen hh silence her word, he tame her, and she tamed him, she is his unique roses.
so important. was not until 2005 that they would understand that.
face of 5000 roses, the little prince said: devoted love, intimacy makes sense. But now we increasingly popular emptiness of the , each has had a rose, the value of their own lives to Duoleyifen. the Internet age, with several ten lover, is no longer a rare thing too. But I know who these promiscuous, no is not empty. they do not enjoy the relationship, they just enjoy the conquest.
, > For such people, a rose garden roses than a unique and attractive.
However, the relationship between the United States, almost two inputs is the extent and degree to be tamed. When two people are naturally to go into, naturally, be tamed, the relationship will become a life nourishment, so that a person's life becomes more filling and better.
However, no matter how close. The Little Prince is still Prince, Rose is still Rose, they are still two individuals. If Rose let the little prince travel, or the little prince will travel non-roses with me, they have to stick together, the relationship is no longer enjoy, but will become a cumbersome.
Remember: both a close and mutually independent relationship, the relationship is better than a thousand general. such a relationship, we will save hopelessly out of loneliness is the most important of our lives a salvation.
if never experienced before, you can not know the beauty of this relationship
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